what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
