I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
