There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
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he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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