Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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