its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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