he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
