Need sex. Gaining weight.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
