Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
