Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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