people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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