we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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