I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
look no pants
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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