what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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