Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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