I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
