All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i out mim tonsoeep
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