I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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