Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
