When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
