How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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