you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
