he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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