did you get engaged???
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Come on in and take your pants off
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