A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
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i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
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I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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