So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize