It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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