Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize