So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
