i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
