Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just threw up on my dentist
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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