My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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