Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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