Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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