No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
