she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
