And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
