don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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