May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My breasts were aching with rage.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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