chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize