I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize