just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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