he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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