Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
