can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You may now shotgun with the bride
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
