If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
