kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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