Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
