is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
