Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gross. gingers suck

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  (313): Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you (248): Gross. gingers suck http://tfl.nu/yt8q
  Replies (18) Good night (1137) Bad night (1793)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.

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  (302): I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset. http://tfl.nu/ifc8
  Replies (13) Good night (4897) Bad night (863)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD

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  (845): Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD http://tfl.nu/xg03
  Replies (18) Good night (6415) Bad night (746)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar

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  (317): Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar http://tfl.nu/plcg
  Replies (13) Good night (5633) Bad night (1114)
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  (323): View more from California

  dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning

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  (323): dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning http://tfl.nu/bjxg
  Replies (6) Good night (3004) Bad night (974)
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  (+33): View more from France

  how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?

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  (+33): how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men? http://tfl.nu/4scz
  Replies (61) Good night (7019) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...

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  (419): Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this... http://tfl.nu/jh8c
  Replies (19) Good night (1916) Bad night (3009)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....

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  (850): No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status..... http://tfl.nu/5hnt
  Replies (9) Good night (2875) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too

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  (407): I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too http://tfl.nu/awue
  Replies (0) Good night (932) Bad night (477)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining

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  (541): oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining http://tfl.nu/nogg
  Replies (7) Good night (414) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close

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  (618): I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close http://tfl.nu/i5mu
  Replies (3) Good night (1277) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...

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  (516): She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird... http://tfl.nu/escp
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (322)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)

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  (616): with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;) http://tfl.nu/170o
  Replies (0) Good night (671) Bad night (220)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??

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  (+66): One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends?? http://tfl.nu/vs70
  Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!

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  (480): Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year! http://tfl.nu/fksl
  Replies (3) Good night (374) Bad night (1386)

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