I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.