i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.