I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.