thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?