Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
