thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Panties = found
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