kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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