Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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