i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
