His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
