I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
