did you get engaged???
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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