She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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