It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize