Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
