Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
