So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You took a bar mat shot.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
