Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
