If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
