i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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