you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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